Monday, September 5, 2011


I’ve always been pretty much of an underachiever. At least since halfway through high school, anyway.

I don’t feel too bad about it most of the time.

But every now and then it gets to me.

Like when someone says something to the effect of, “Why, I didn’t know that you could a, b, c! So why don’t you x, y, z?” (Example: “I didn’t know you could string two sentences together! You should write a book.”)

Well, because the x, y, or z might be next to impossible for an unorganized, unmotivated, ADHD underachiever like me. There’s a big discrepancy between potential and production here. So the occasional comment makes me a little sad.

Why don’t I accomplish more?

Why don’t I get more done?

What’s wrong with me?

Why can’t I be more like normal people?

Normal people get a lot done. They’re always scratching things off their to-do lists. Marvelously multi-tasking. RSVPing on time. Returning all their calls and emails as soon as they get them.

They’re out running errands while I’m still contemplating getting out of bed.

They accomplish a lot in a day.

I accomplish little.

Sometimes the whispering lies of self-hatred waft into my head and settle there like a low-lying gray cloud.

Until I ask: “What is truly needful?”

This society encourages twisted thinking about doing vs. being. About works vs. faith. Self-esteem easily becomes tangled up in what we do rather than in what we are. We are judged by our accomplishments. And we judge ourselves by our accomplishments.

Sometimes I catch myself internally attempting to bolster my ego with a thought like, “Well, Kim, you managed to accomplish a lot today. You were a good girl. You got it done. Give yourself a high five!”

And then I immediately go, “Yecccchhhh. Gag me with a spoon.”

Twisted sister.

I remember the words of the apostle Paul: I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me…” (Romans 15:18)

In the Upside Down Kingdom, the bed-confined invalid who faithfully prays for others accomplishes far more in a day than the most driven, accomplished workaholic.

I constantly must remind myself that my worth comes from who I am… whose I am… rather than from what I do.

“For Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given. As a result, all who believe in him are made right with God.” (Rom. 10:4)

I don’t have to do anything to make myself okay. Only believe.

On this Labor Day, may we truly rest from our labors, rejoicing in the accomplished work of Christ.

In his own words,

It is finished.


“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
(Matthew 11:28-29)

“For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors,
 just as God did after creating the world.”
 (Hebrews 4:10)


The Mom said...

We are always coming back to the cross, are we not? We bring our assorted baggage,our places where we have been crippled and the places and times, like Peter, where we have denied the Christ...only to find ever and always that His grace is sufficient. It will look different in your life than it will look in mine, but it is grace, glorious grace, nonetheless. I was performance driven for much of my life. I was the girl who always earned the A (or at least whenever possible) and soon fell prey to a form of worship of the god of intellectualism. The more knowledge I acquired, the more I trusted self rather than God. This path proved just as false as your god of "I only wish I had..." In the end all of these gods fail us. So we come, crippled and maimed by our sin and our weakness to the One True Giver of Life and healing and all good gifts. From your words, I strongly suspect that self-recrimination is one of your primary false notions that you continue to battle...I boldly speak freedom once again to you, sister, in the precious Name of Jesus. Remember that she who finds the Son is free indeed! Blessings!

Anonymous said...


This is exactly what I needed to be hear ... today, especially. Thank you for being faithful in sharing what God is teaching you! Jeri