Friday, February 18, 2011

A Forgotten Secret

Sorry I’ve been incommunicado this week.

The night before the movers came to dismantle my childhood home, I woke up at 3 a.m. with the flu.

Not a cold. Not a virus.


Bone-rattling, teeth chattering, flu.

Chills and fever with all the trimmings. Stabbing aches and pains. Dizziness. Malaise. Intense fatigue. A cough that feels like a sword is going into my chest and out my back.

When I walk up the stairs, my heart rate goes wild.

My eyeballs are even sore.

I’ve got to tell you that I’ve been questioning the Almighty about the timing of this thing.

It has given the move an even more surreal, nightmarish aura.

(i.e., Tell the movers where to put the chest/sneak back to the empty bedroom, lie down on the rug and shiver.)

There’s been no clean break. My poor mother is camping out in a half-empty house, alone with her memories. No TV.

Over the course of the week, I kept getting worse instead of better…. so yesterday we took a hiatus. Didn’t get out of bed all day. Drank gallons of water. Slept.

I thought that surely I’d be much better today.


Sometimes life is hard.

And painful.

I find myself peevishly grumbling: “Why did you allow me get sick again this week? Didn’t we pray and pray for a smooth move? This has been much harder than it had to be.”

I lie here trying to come up with a positive thought before my feet hit the ground.

Hmmmmm. Not coming up with much.

And it dawns on me.

Lately, I’ve been working on living a more grateful life.

I’m reading a new book on gratitude, and an old book on praise.

There is a secret I learned years and years ago, but continuously forget.

William Law, 18th century theologian, expressed it well:

"If anyone can tell you the shortest, surest way to all happiness and perfection, he must tell you to make it a rule to yourself to thank and praise God for everything that happens to you, for it is certain that whatever seeming calamity happens to you, if you thank and praise God for it, you turn it into a blessing."

I’ve got my work cut out for me.

At least this public confession will hold me accountable.

Let you know how it goes.

(p.s. Happy Birthday, Middle Girl! xoxo, Mom)


Susan said...

I love the New Living Translation of James 1:2 - "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy."
I am afraid that I often fail to make the most of my opportunities.
So sorry you are sick - I have missed you!

HopeandWhimsy said...

Praying for you Kim. And writing down that quote as I also squirm through this week wondering and grumbling. Every step is a hard won battle and usually accompanied by another rug pulled out from under.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for the rotten timing. When it rains, it pours!

Praying for strength, healing, and comfort of every kind.

I agree. Sometimes life IS just too hard!

Also praying that you will be able to "praise Him in the storm."

Corinne Cunningham said...

Oh Kim... your experience sounds so similar to what we went through when we moved a few weeks ago.
Thinking of you...

allison guyer said...

Praying for you. Love the quote.


Linda Abney said...

I remember so well our first exposure to "in all things give thanks". I had found a great tape on that topic and shared it with you. I found that tape a few weeks back. Maybe I should bring it over with some chicken soup and we can relive old memories of God's grace. I can certainly help Amanda, too. Let me know.