Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Golden Golf Ball of Stupidity

This is in the “Oh no, she’s done it again” category.

As I’ve mentioned before, there’s not a lot of time for ‘self-care’ when I’m West Coast.

I let a few months slide by without a hair appointment. As soon as I got home, I tried to set one up, but couldn’t get in until after Thanksgiving.

My husband made the costly mistake of teasing me about my roots.

Men, sometimes you just need to keep your big mouths shut. 

No offense.

So, two days before Thanksgiving, I decided to play Home Beauty Parlor. We do that a lot at our house. I’d recently highlighted a daughter’s hair with presentable results, so I felt emboldened to tackle my own. Even though I should have been making the pumpkin pie instead.

Can you tell where this is headed?

I used something called a Laguna Cap. I pulled a few strands through, no prob, and slathered on the toxic chemicals.

Then I started multi-tasking while it fried. Got absorbed. Kind of forgot about it.

It looked great after I washed it out and detangled. I was even thinking about tackling a little bangs trim.

Until I got a second mirror and checked out the back.

Where there was a large orange golf ball-sized booboo at the crown of the head.

aka, a bleach bleed.

My husband tried to console me. “No one will see it unless they’re taller than you,” he foolishly grinned.

I’m 5’3”.  He’s 6’6”.

Not funny.

I got through the weekend with creative comb-overs and hair clasps.

My hairdresser just shook his head when I finally slunk in for my appointment the next week.

He helped it a little, but it’s still there. It will serve as a humbling reminder of my stupidity for months to come. A miniature golden dunce cap.

There are so many lessons that could be learned from this parable.

Like don’t play with matches, run with scissors, or toy with toxic chemicals.

We could talk about vanity or frivolousness or inner beauty vs. outer.

But the message I’m getting loud and clear is this:

Oh, Kim. How many times are you going to take matters into your own hands? When will you learn to be patient and wait? Don’t you see how often you make things worse than they have to be? Yet you impulsively rushed ahead and tried to fix things yourself.

Even though you already had an appointment. With someone who knows what he’s doing. A professional.

I wonder how many times I’ve done this on a spiritual level. Gotten tired of waiting for God to show up in a situation, and decided to try to fix things myself. And ended up with a blotched, tangled mess.

Never realizing that there was a Divine Appointment already set up for the next day... with a Professional who knows what He's doing.


“...But they soon forgot what he had done 
and did not wait for his plan to unfold.” (Psalm 106:13)


Does anyone else struggle with jumping ahead of the gun? Or have any embarrassing Home Beauty Parlor stories to share?


Laurel said...

Haven't tried Home Beauty Parlor yet. It sounds like way too much work. But I have tried Home Renovation from time to time. My weekend projects always take about 3 weeks and at least one call to an electrician or a plumber.

Susan said...

Two Home Beauty Parlor projects. First One: Decided I wanted highlights and that I could do them myself. I fell asleep with the goop in my hair and ended up with orange streaks. Lovely.
Second One: My son had L-O-N-G hair and came in one day and asked if he could buy "some hair cutting tools." I asked why and he said, "So you can cut my hair." I am NOT a hair stylist. See First Home Beauty Parlor project for proof. Then he said, "You know, the kind of thing you use on April." So, I said, "Well, April is a dog. When I make gaps in her hair, nobody knows and she doesn't care." He bought the stuff anyway. It took me two hours to cut his hair because I was too scared to do much of anything. I finally finished and, to his credit, he didn't complain. A few days later he made an appointment for a "real" haircut. First words out of his mouth when he got there - "My mom did this. Can you fix it?"
Verification "word" for this post - "carepro" - ha!

Anonymous said...

Too many hairdo mistakes to even count. The one that stands out the most is when a cousin and I permed my very thick, very straight hair. I wanted that curly look like everyone seemed to have where you did nothing to it but let it dry. Well it curled alright - my hair took to that perm like a duck to water. It was so curly and tight it purely walked up my head. I sat for days with my head wrapped in a towel like that would help. I put on lambs placenta and all kind of remedies that people would tell me - nothing helped. Finally I went to the salon and got it taken care of professionally. Many dollars later I had semi straight hair - never did that again!

Anonymous said...

Good point. We all often rush in and don't give situations enough prayer and real organic God-filled spiritual space to unfold in His perfect timing. I used to rush in too often and saw my efforts which were a mix of selfishness and unselfishness go awry and maybe even make things worse.

Now my struggle is different. I fear I've gotten too spiritually lazy to step in and say something or offer help. I'm so self-conscious that someone will judge me as meddlesome or judgmental. I'm probably guilty of enabling loved ones to walk even further in their dysfunction and downright sin. I hope the people who love me, love me enough to tell me when I'm wrong and gently point me in the right direction.

I pray I'm wise enough to hear what's of God and what isn't but regardless to realize that person is just saying or doing these things because they love me.

I guess what I'm saying is I believe there has to be a balance in all that. I used to jump in and try to "fix" everything. Now I really hold back and I'm not sure if I'm handling things right since I seem more concerned about "what's best for me" than "what's best for my loved one"? I see so many people and situations around me that are so messed up. I'm praying and I'll never stop that! But I wonder if I can do more?

The serenity prayer sums it up: the grace to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Thanks for making me think about this today.
Love, Michelle

Erika said...

story of my life! too many home beauty parlor hair disasters to mention- the most recent of which was 3 weeks ago- LOL! i am also very proficient in the "home improvement do-it-yourself diaster" scenarios. my current one is a half-finished bathroom that would have benefitted from a lot of forethought. live and learn. glad to know i'm no the only one! ha! (and i bet you STILL look great- even with your golden golf ball).

Mary Walsh said...

I let my friend color my hair. She had been begging to and me with a divorce freshly under my belt I felt it was time. She mixed it wrong plus bleed throughs from the cap left me with white blobs around my face. While processing, we had to go pick up our kids from the Oconee Middle School Dance and to cover my hair i wore a football helmet. i ended up going to Revco and getting more color to recolor my hair brown over the white blobs. Not exactly the end result I had dreamed of.

McCance said...

I'd still let you highlight my mop of a head of hair anytime. :-)